Back to life

I went to the dr yesterday which was a month into recovery and he said everything was fine and that I wouldn't need to come back for a year unless I had problems.
So now on with life. I ordered some new burn out tees to print, I love them, they are so vintage and soft. I've got lot's of things coming in for my setup at the shop, can't wait for it all to come in.
I just got finished making some soap in Juicy couture, smells wonderful. The problem at first was that I did not have my wooden mold fixed just right and soap got everywhere in my kitchen. As if that were not enough, I tried to fix omelets for dinner tonight and that was something that I could do perfect before but for some reason tonight it was a complete flop, I ended up scrambling it. I saw Brooke kind of poking around at her plate like she was afraid to tell me it was bad, so I told her we would just give it to the dogs, I think I saw a smile on her face. I'm not trying that again for a while. Right now the kitchen is a nightmare but I had to get out and take a break.
I'm about to watch a crafting live web show that comes on tonight.

It is done

I have finally had my hysterectomy Monday. My doctor used the da Vinci robotic arm, which is better on recovery, I don't know why all doctors aren't trained to use it. I have had the best doctor and everyone that has worked on me, they were all so nice, it makes a big difference when you have people that want to help than just put in hours. It took over 7 hours and my doctor had to chop it in pieces to get everything out and I am so thankful that he took the time to do so instead of just opening me up and getting it out the other way which would be worse. After all the months and shots to have the da Vinci and to wake up and see that we had to do it the other way would have been bad for me.  When I came to I was very shocked that I had the pain that I felt in my  arms, it hurt more that anything. Found out it was because of the gas, I'm better today. I can tell a difference in my walking already, I should have done this years ago.

March 5

Today was a beautiful day, the sun was shinning and it got up in the 50's. You have got to love weather like that after a long cold spell.
I have been creating tonight, now I want to get to a scrapbook store, as if I have a shortage of supplies here. I wonder if I am the only one that will purchase something I think is so pretty just to get it home and worry about messing it up and not doing anything with it, I even do that with paper, we're talkin' paper, it's not going to break me if I have to purchase another sheet. Now that I have gotten my slice I am better about it.

March 4

Today I was all set in my mind for surgery. I did the prep last night, got up at 3 went to the hospital, they gave me 2 IV's a shot in my ab for thinning blood, took blood which hurt the most because she couldn't find a vein. Then they wheeled me into OR and was getting me ready when everyone was watching my heart monitor and then I heard my doctor say " we may not be able to do this today " . They had someone else come in and look it over and that's when my doctor told me that I would have to see a heart doctor and find out what the next move is. I think the doc will take one look at me and say lose some weight.
I had the hard part behind me, now I get to do it all over again. I guess I should not complain it could always be worse, I mean, I don't know what the doc will tell me Monday, I hope " everything's fine, you just have a skipping heart beat".
I have so many plans in the works and I have kinda put them on hold until recovery. I guess that is why I was so depressed when I came home. Now that I have had time to think about it things really do happen for a reason, all in God's time. I don't know why this happen today but He does. As for the plans, I am starting tonight and going ahead and when I have this surgery I will simply put everything on a slight hold or do what I can. I think I am afraid that I will be down for 5 to 6 weeks, that is what most say. I keep thinking everyone is different and it is what it is.
On a positive note, I now know what to expect when I go in next time and isn't that where fear comes from, the not knowing.

I am a big Tim Holtz fan and I posted something of his a few days ago which looking back is so true.
" the mind determines which is possible. The heart surpasses it"
I guess today my heart said " we are not doing this today"

Volcano

Tonight Brooke and I worked on a volcano project for her class. It looked easier on youtube. Plaster everywhere, now we have to get up early to finish painting, we started too late ( both of us forgot ). I was sitting here at my desk and thought " what little crafting project can I do " that is when it hit me. I wish we could have finished it tonight, oh well at least I remembered and got the plaster part done, that would have be too late in the morning.

I have added some prints to etsy. They could be for a child or baby. Cutie Pie is my design, I don't draw much but I liked this, illustrator makes it easier.

Last Dr appointment B 4 surgery

Today went through the testing for surgery, I am so glad that is behind me now. The Dr and nurses are all the nicest but I am ready for this surgery to be over. I was in such a good mood knowing that the time was near that the Dr. said " you do know that you are having major surgery, right? " I'm like "when will I be at my right state of mind, will there be pain pills" He's like oh there will be pain meds,  me, no you don't understand, I don't want pain relief at first because I want to know my level of pain. I don't know why that is so important for me to know.

I missed Kell on Earth downloading it now on iTunes, I like to play the episodes while I'm on here. I LOVE that show, any show that has someone living their dream is pretty cool but mix that with fashion and make up and I have died and gone to heaven. When I lose this weight, yet again, there will be a shopping trip that is going to be epic ( need to start saving now , that or build up an awesome credit card collection ).

It has snowed here last week and today was Brooke's first day back to school. I told her we have another round coming Friday so who knows they might get out some next week. Didn't you hate it when it snowed like on a Friday afternoon or Saturday and didn't get to miss school because of it.
I have been busy with listings and new things. I have started making 8 1/2 x 11 prints of my camera prints. I think that I need to make some more screens of more of my cameras for prints.
I am also working on screenprinting throw pillows. I think that would be cute.

Well I am going to make this short, lot's to do.

Update

I do let a lot of time pass by before I post. Lot's going on. Brooke got moved in and enrolled in school here. We got her a computer so now I let her have the internet most of the time. I bought 2 different wireless hook ups but I lost one of the adpters and it will not work with just any one. I am having problems with them, but I know that if I take the time to do it, I can get it done.
New years resolutions:
1: Worked on a budget today to follow.
2: Weight loss, working on that with Maker's Diet.
3: Get healthy, going to Dr. appointments, gave up caffeine for that too.
4: Get my life organized, always in the middle of that
5: Get my HST ink out there more.
6: Working on my scrapbooks by printing out photos, not just leave them in computer
7: Take more photos
8: Get to church more often ( should have been #1 on here ) .
9: Study photography more
10: Try to post more often on here.

Well that is my list, I think I can handle it.
Oh and it snowed here Thursday, Brooke was tickled as all the little kiddies ( no school ). I got out in the yard and took some photos.

Sunday

Christmas has gone by so quickly. I enjoyed spending time with my family, taking photos and watching the kids open their gifts, and the food, not bad at all. I think I am ready to start my diet come the first of the year and kick caffeine for a while. Oh I do love my coffee, I hope I get the same great taste from decaf ( LOL ) but hmmm I don't think so. If I can give up smoking 3 packs a day I know good and well I can give up coffee.
I got the gift of the what I think is the flu this Christmas, wasn't that sweet. I'm not going to go into the whole whinny " Oh I'm so sick" and all that boring crap, here is the jest of it " It sucks ". I was going to get Brooke tomorrow but I don't think I will now, no reason for her to get this. I have been so careful too, at this moment at my desk I am looking at 4 different types of hand sanitizers, I keep one in my purse and one in my truck. I even have the Ed Hardy brand ( even stylish with my hand sanitizer lol ) but I like the Warm Vanilla Sugar from Bath and Body works better. I not only put it on my hands but I inhale it thinking that would somehow help, there's alot of my family that does that too. Up to now it has worked. Oh well I guess it was going to hit sooner or later.

I've been working on some orders of necklaces and tees. I've got some new designs worked up, now I just need to photograph them.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.

Christmas Shopping

Done, all but one gift card left to buy. It was so packed at the mall, you would think that it was the weekend.
I need to be in there wrappin' the gifts, Lord knows I got plenty paper last year after the season ( like always ). I think we are going to open gifts with my family  this Sunday here at our house.

Sunday

This morning we went to church after that came home. Barbara came by and bought some things form me and I made a cd for a talent show that she is helping with.
I got some things done around here took care of some orders I had online ( lovin' that ).
Today I was physically pain free and I didn't have to take anything! I had to take breaks but not as often as before. Tomorrow will be the true test, we are going shopping in Memphis and that sometimes means I could be somewhere that I can't sit or prop my leg up. I will be taking something with me  just to be on the safe side. What do people do that hurt and can't find relief. I mean I know that if worse comes to worse I can just sit on the floor ( wouldn't that get some stares ), but some people have nothing they can do and no amount of pain pills other than knocking them out will help. Before this I've always been able to take physical pain I guess because I would think it's much better than emotional pain, you know like a trade off of some sort. Like " If I can handle this nothing bad will happen ( and to me bad is emotional pain, is it not everyones fear  ) ". I know that sounds crazy, but I am strange sometimes.

Tonight was light a candle in memory of a child that has gone on to heaven. I lost a first cousin, Justin and 2 second cousins that died years ago and they were first cousins. Please remember those that have lost loved ones in your prayers, this time of year is the hardest for them.

13 days to go

  Let's see, Billy and I went to Jackson to do some shopping. I don't think we did any Christmas shopping. It was a MAD house. Went to Macy's for some quick shopping then we went to Casey Jones Place, the Southern Magnolia has some Christmas houses now, along with other Christmas things. I only got a light kit for a house that I want to do a small set up. We checked out K mart, I got some trees for the setup, and other things, then went to grab a bite at Catfish Cabin ( we haven't been there in awhile ).
  I just got finished watching Julie & Julia, now I want to get " Mastering the joy of French Cooking " cook book. The only problem is that I am starting " The Makers Diet " with some of my aunts and cousin starting January, I don't think butter will be allowed. I love Meryl Streep she is such a great actress, she played Julia perfectly. I wish they would do a movie more on Julia's life.

  I have got to get clothes ready for church in the morning.
 
 

Christmas Shopping

Today I got most of my Christmas shopping done, and today has been the only day for that. I keep thinking we have plenty of time, but time has slipped by too fast. I wanted to put out the houses but I've waited too late, I guess next year I will make it. We have Monday and then the rest of the week the kids go half a day, and Brooke will be here when she gets out of school, so time is a ticking. As for me and Billy, we don't know what we want, I haven't thought about it.
I have thought of my cousin Justin and his parents many times today. Once you see a loved one live that kind of pain ( the loss of a child ) it stays with you.

Justin

Tomorrow will be 4 years that our family has lost Justin. There was a big age gap with him and myself so I did not hang out with him like I did my other cousins.  I mean I have cousins that had kids close to his age that's how they got to know him better I guess. He was so smart like his mom and he loved to hunt like his dad. I'll always remember that every time that I saw him he was quiet but always smiling.  Not long ago my aunt was telling me that the biggest fear of a parent that has lost a child is that that child will be forgotten. I know that will not happen with him, too many people loved him.

Etsy

I put some new things in my etsy store. I also made a lot of changes, I need to do better photos, I seem to get in a hurry because I know that I need to rush that process because my time will be spent trying to put a description to it.
Wow Christmas is almost here and I have only got 1 gift. Not only that I keep thinking of all the things I'd like to do before then like put out my Department 56 houses and some other things. I don't think I'll get to do all the houses this year, I've waited too late, but I will do a few small set up here and there.
I've got so much to do tomorrow I will keep this short and get to bed.

Latest on health

Today I had the ultrasound done. It was really just to get a better look and decide what to do next. I do need a historectomy but the funny part is I already got that part set in my head last week, and I really am fine with it but when my Dr was telling me about the drug that we are going to try to shrink them some before the surgery I did freak out a little on the inside. It's a shot ( Ohhh noooo )once a month, then we didn't know if we could start it today because they have to call and get approval to use it, now that had me somewhat nervous. I did not know that a clinic would have a drug that needed the go ahead to use, so the side effects worried me. When they got the go ahead I asked the nurse what the side effects were and she said that it would put me in early mentapause and hot flashes. I was like give me that drug, no more periods and all the crap that goes with it, and hot flashes, please, I am the most cold nature person you will ever meet I could jack this heat up around here to 80 and be comfortable. The nurse that gave me the shot, great, did not even feel it. I was a big baby for no reason. We are looking at March for the surgery and I am fine with it, I just pray we can shrink it enough to have the new type of surgery. They told us to wait 20 min out in the waiting room after the shot to see if I had any reaction, and I'm like what kind of reaction are we looking for, stumbling around or fall out dead, she didn't say lol. They are all so nice there, I don't think I would be this calm if they weren't.
While we were doing the ultrasound I told Billy " wouldn't it be something if it were like that show, I didn't know I was pregnant, but then again 3 years, I think we are safe."
Got a new necklace listed tonight.

I have been doing research for the tumors thinking that this Dr would have me take a pill and all this would just go away. When he said " I think we are looking at surgery" I said " not a hysterectomy " and he said Yes. I thought dang I've got to get home and do alot more researching to avoid this. I thought the only reason they would need to do that was if I had cancer and yet I still don't know for sure about that one, I guess I will know tue. He wants me to see if he can give me a pill to try and shrink it before surgery be easier for recovery( larger than a football now ).
When I came back out to the desk to set up other appointments I was joking with the lady there. Billy was waiting for me and I was talking to him on the way out and handed him the keys, the moment I closed the truck door I broke down crying, and was telling him what the deal was. Later on the way home I was okay with it and he said " I am proud of my girl, you held it together till you got in the truck." LOL. I'm not down with PDE ( public display of emotions ) we have been together 8 years and he can count on one hand and have fingers left over, how many times he has seen me cry.
Yesterday I hurt so badly that I knew that I would do what ever was needed to end this pain. Now I have to get on to weight loss in a fast way, because of surgery, I've lost weight so many times so I know that's not a problem once it is in my head, and well I think I am there now.

Dec 2 - pray for me

Where to begin, 2 weeks ago the pain that I have had for more than 3 years has got to a point of having to do something. I was walking and the pain was so great that I froze and could not move. I went to the doctor for pain pills and they sent me to have a CAT scan that day. They found some tumors and now I have to see someone tomorrow. I use to have this fear of going to the doctor, but the pain was so bad I did not care what happened. I am to a point to where I am sick of having to take breaks while I am out because of pain from standing ( walking didn't hurt until a few weeks ago ). All this time I thought it was from my weight and now I find out this. I don't care what they have to do as long as the pain goes away. I pray that it is not cancer, I think that I would hurt all the time if it were that. I did check on some wigs just to be ready if I need them. I'm not sure if all cemo does that or not. I have strangers complement me on my hair so I am very funny about my hair.
Today I stood in line at Michaels with tears running down my cheeks because the lady in front of me had like 50 things for them to scan and the pain gets worse, then the other half of a pain pill kicked in and I was in heaven. At that moment I no longer had a fear of doctors, sick people, & needles but the fear that I would get worse and pain pills would not help.
The day I had the scan done I was telling Billy about it and he was worried about what it could be and I told him " It's got to be a okay, I go to this next doctor December 2 on your birthday, so it's got to be good news".
I bet I won't find out anything tomorrow, just meet with this doctor and set up for some tests and things.
Power of prayer. I believe it strongly so please pray for me.

Day with mom and Angie

Got to go to Memphis with my mom and sister. We like to hit the thrift stores and see what we can find. I collect this green or amber glass for my kitchen so I am always on the look out for that and I found some today CHEAP, gotta love that :) I'll have to get some pics of them they are so cool and old.
I didn't do much on the way of creating anything today, got home late.

Sunday

I woke up late this morning missed church and it was so late that I didn't even have coffee ( What!) come to think of it I didn't have any today. That is like unheard of. I do not know how I am functioning.
I have been cutting out things with my little slice ( lovin' it ). I don't know why I would ever try to cut something out by hand again.
Planning on going to Memphis tomorrow for some supplies for my jewelry. I have got to get back to doing my t shirt designs. I've got to come up with a cute Christmas one.

Day of shopping with Billy

Today we went shopping and ran by Angie's. I got the making memories slice and the " just chillin" slice card. I want to get back to doing scrapbook pages that I hand do. Don't get me wrong I still love the digital ones but sometimes I want to create something with my hands. I have the machine charging now, it looks easy and fun to use. You know I had to do a search on youtube to check out how to use it. Before youtube I would have had to read the instructions on things now I just kick back with a cup of coffee or tea and watch others tell me what to do.
Youtube has saved me a fortune by checking out what others think about a product. If you haven't tried youtube you have missed out. I am thinking about doing some videos on some things that I could help others with.

New necklace

Tonight I have a necklace listed that I finished last night, for all the New Moon fans. Only a week and the movie is out, I wonder how many parties are planned for that.

Now I am adding digital cards to etsy. I need a name for the shop but for now I have 2 on my HST ink site. I will drive myself crazy trying to come up with a name for this one.

Photo session

This weekend I got to photograph my cousin's collage cap and gown photo. I enjoyed it, anytime I have a camera in my hand is a good day.
Brooke spent the weekend with us. She wasn't feeling too good, had inner ear. Needless to say I didn't force her to pose for me ( at first she asked me, then she didn't feel like it ). She is one of me models that let me blind her with the light kit while learning my lighting and settings for my camera ( she is so sweet ).
Went to Memphis to the MAC counter and got the limited pigment set ( very nice ) this will be the first pigments that I will have used, I've tried before but gave up too quick. I will be checking out the makeup gurus on youtube to see just what cool combos to use, Oh no, I just realized that the lady that helped me forgot my new shadow brush that I went for. I didn't see it on my reciet so that's good. We need a MAC here closer to where I live!! Oh and a sephora ( know I went there too ) I got some hair products from there.

Work and play

Let's see, Sunday went to church, then shopping with hubby, Monday went shopping with hubby in Memphis for some supplies, Tue went to Angie's with mom, I worked on some new jewelry and they worked on a few collars.

Today went to Angie's with mom and we did some work on supplies for a site. Now I've been listing some of the jewelry that I finished. I hate trying to describe my things. I could make things all day long and do the photos, but when it comes to the other I just want to skip it. I have found that some just talk about their day and everything else. When I purchase something I just care about the product not what shoes you were waring when you made it, unless they were very stylish.

Happy Halloween

We have our big dog Oreo put up so that he will not jump on people. He loves kids and he has no clue how to act, we have spoiled him. If he sees a child he will lose his mind, jump all over them knock them down. Hubby and I got a few Halloween decorations yesterday that were on sale, I put them out today, they were cute, now I get to take them down tomorrow. Oh well I will have them out for more that one day for next year.
I have sold a few things to my cousins where they were here ( that is always nice ) I also have a few orders. Now I am working on them.
I'm sitting here sipping on some coffee, checking out my listings on etsy, I need to up load some new shirts but I think I'll wait until Monday. I need to go and get my clothes ready for in the morning for church, I am bad about dragging around and missing church because I feel that I don't have anything to ware.
I hope everyone has a fun and safe time out tonight.